Many times, I find myself caught in a spiral of self-criticism, dwelling on what I don’t like about myself—things I wish I had done differently, mistakes I made, and moments where I fell short of my own expectations. It’s easy to compare myself to others, noticing how they seem more skilled, more accomplished, and seemingly better at everything they do. These feelings can be overwhelming, pulling me further away from a sense of self-worth and self-compassion. In these moments, I forget that everyone walks their own path with unique challenges and triumphs. I have my own journey to take, my own lessons to learn, and a destiny that is shaped by my strengths, growth, and resilience. While I may not always be perfect, I am a work in progress, capable of becoming better and deserving of grace along the way.
When I find myself dwelling on what I don’t like about myself—mistakes I’ve made, things I feel I didn’t get right, or how others seem to have it all together—it can be hard to break free from the spiral of self-criticism. But I’m learning how to manage these feelings and build a kinder relationship with myself.
Ways I manage self-criticism
1. Acknowledge My Feelings: When negative thoughts come up, I remind myself that it’s okay to feel this way. It doesn’t define who I am—it’s just a part of my experience that I can work through.
2. Challenge My Inner Critic: I ask myself, “Is what I’m thinking actually true?” I try to remember all the times I’ve succeeded, made a difference, or pushed through difficult moments. My worth isn’t determined by just my struggles.
3. Limit Comparisons: I realize that comparing myself to others is unfair because I don’t know their full story. I try to focus on my own journey and progress, even if it feels slower than I’d like.
4. Show Myself Kindness: When I make mistakes or feel inadequate, I ask myself what I would say to a friend in my situation. I try to offer myself the same compassion and understanding because I deserve it too.
5. Set My Own Goals: Instead of worrying about where I “should” be, I think about what truly matters to me. I set small, achievable goals that help me move forward, and I celebrate each milestone along the way—no matter how small.
6. Reflect on My Achievements: I take time to remember moments where I’ve grown, helped others, or overcome challenges. Keeping these moments in mind helps me see that I have value and strength, even on tough days.
7. Connect with supportive people: I make an effort to spend time with people who genuinely care about me and want to see me grow. Their encouragement can lift me up when I’m struggling with self-doubt.
8. Reach Out for Help When Needed: If I find it difficult to manage these feelings alone, I remind myself that it’s okay to seek help. Talking to a therapist can help me develop tools to change negative thought patterns and see myself more clearly.
9. Practice mindfulness: When I feel overwhelmed, I try to ground myself in the present moment. Simple practices like focusing on my breath or taking a mindful walk can help me let go of negative thoughts, even if just for a moment.
10. Celebrate Growth Over Perfection: I remind myself that nobody is perfect. Mistakes and setbacks don’t mean I’m failing—they’re part of learning and growing. I try to focus on progress, not perfection, and appreciate how far I’ve come.
I’m on a unique journey, and while it may not always be easy, every experience shapes who I am. I deserve to be kind to myself, to appreciate my efforts, and to remember that I am enough just as I am.
Comment and share in the comment how you have criticised yourself and what you are doing to check yourself now.
